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Monday, 25 October 2010

Another Shot

I have to give myself another shot.

another chance.

another day.

another hope for success.

I've failed over and over at Losing & Sustaining weight loss.

I need to prove to myself that im capable.

Because i am...

Capable

I'm going to put my heart & mind into this time. Fully make myself aware of every decision i make regarding my health. Im going to write down my foods. Im going to count my calories. Im going to exercise. Im going to keep up with Xanga. Im going to win.

Failure is not an option.

Ive let myself down too many times before.

Believe it.

DO it.

Accomplish.

Ladies the first time i lost weight last year, xanga played a huge role. You guys cheered me on & i could always look at your updates and get inspired. Help me by helping yourself and staying dedicated to your goals and xanga : )

Any tips on how to stay motivated? I get so weak sometimes, and slip up..and its like a down ward spiral.

"If you wanna F L Y you gotta give up the shit that w e i g h s you down"

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Good things are happening

Hello beautiful ladies. Last few days have been a little better. Good news is i've worked out for 3 days in a row now. woot woot My eating habits are getting better, I wouldnt say exactly good..but im working myself there. Some great news is i offically have a boyfriend. I've been dating Marcus since march and he finalllly agreed to make it official Friday night. About time. I've been waiting and waiting. Im crazy about him. We have a good thing here and i just hope this one works. He struggles with alot of inside issues, as do i, so i feel like he understands me. Maybe not truly understands but definitely excepts me for who i am inside&out and you have no idea how much that mean to me. I cant sit here and say oh hes the one and i want to spend the rest of my life with him BUT he's the one for now, who makes me happy & who i couldnt stand to lose..& thats enough for me.

Anyway i want to go grocery shopping today. If im gonna shed these pounds i need to have healthy food around me. Because fast food is the DEVIL. & i spend toooo much money on it. Looking at my bank statement makes me sick to my stomach. Heres a list of the foods im looking to get.

Cucumbers
Italian Dressing
Peanut butter
Eggs
Shredded cheese
Pita bread & whole grain bread
Tuna
chicken breast
Salad mix
yogurt

Any suggestions?!
Last time i lost a lot of weight i ate a lot of lean cusines because it makes it easier to keep track of calories. However i just dont fancy them anymore. I prefer real food. I like those frozen spinach vegetables. I love spinach. Okay i feel like im starting to ramble. Lets move on to..

Question of the Day!?
When losing weight, where do you usually notice it first?
For me i usually notice it in my face first. Which i love. I hate the whole double chin action. I have chubby cheeks as it is, so i dont need extra fat submerging my face!
Ill show you what i mean

this is me when i was even bigger than i am now

this is me now a good 20 pounds lighter

less double chin in the second picture. I cant wait till my face is even smaller than this..along with the rest of my body!
So what about you girls? Wheere do you lose weight first?

i love bird tattoos.

this is a friend of mine. Shes my own personal walking thinspo..gorgeous <3

Thursday, 15 July 2010

It was easier last time.

For some reason this time around feels SO much harder to count my calories, exercise and eat right. I remember last summer i was soo dedicated and the pounds just seemed to fall off. I dont know where to start these days. Im so use to just eating and eating and going out to eat and again eating, its hard to get back on track. Dammit, i wish i never fell off track. I'd of been to my goal by now.

Now im starting from scratch. Lord i need to keep the faith..Right now im just feeling alittle defeated. BUT i do know its possible. Its so hard though..you girls know. Seriously food is my addiction..its sickening to say that but its so true. I'm an addict and i need to check myself into rehab. haha okay its really not funny but you get my point. Tomorrow is a new day and all i can promise myself is that i will strive for a day better than today. Perhaps if i keep doing that each day, ill finally see results.

Anyway on a positive note, i want to get more interactive with you girls! Im going to start leaving "Question of the day". It make be personal, relevant to weight loss, or completely random! Hopefully ill get repsonses haha <3

Question of the day?!
What Celebrity do you find Absolutely Beautiful?

My personal pick would be Blake Lively. She has a natural beauty about her. She has a classy distinct look but at the same time a down to earth sexy spark. I find her absolutely beautiful <3

" I dont want to date someone just to date some one. I want to be with a guy whos going to better my quality of life..better me" - Blake Lively

"You've got to wake up every morning with Determination if you want to go to bed with Satisfaction"

Goodluck ladies, lets shed some pounds

Sunday, 11 July 2010

i need support more than ever

Its been way too long since ive written. I cant even begin to explain the many things i've went through since my last entry..weight loss, death of one of my bestfriends, worst relationship ever..pregnancy..abortion..heart break after heart break..anti depressants..weight gain..weight gain..depression..love..recovery, Im desperately trying to take control of my life again. Its been my hardest year. & unfortunately every pound i had lost is back on + more. I cant even fit into half the clothes i had worked so hard to get into. Its shameful..humiliating..disappointing...disgusting.. I know many of you wont bother to comment or even read this..but those that happen too..please comment & support me through this. I'm ready to start counting my calories again, exercising..getting healthy. I'm ready for change..this time in a good way. Im vulnerable and afraid of judgment from the ones i love most, i need support from you girls who are fighting the same battle. Lets conquer this together

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

damn mexican

Just a quick blog.

Today is "bestfriend" day. Both me & my bff have today off so we're going shopping & lunch. good timess right? Well we use to always go to Mi Hacienda--mexican restaurant. So she really wants to go there for lunch. Which i mean sounds yummy but i cant imagine its the bit nutritous. I havnt ate breakfast and im going to eat a light dinner. So hopefully it wont fuck me over too bad. I'll probably get a taco salad. Sighs. I'll do a real update tonight. So many distractions in my liffeee. Welp wish me luckkk.

Stay strong girls & motivated <3